On that beautiful Sunday evening, I had a walk with a friend and as we were about catching a bus, my eyes glued to an amazing image created with such epitome of beauty. As I was contemplating to say “hi,” I overhead some guys making a mockery of her. Their mockery was targeted at the fact that she has a child. Deep down in me, I was furious and perplexed on how the society has turned her back against these set of people, how unjustly we have labelled them as a second class citizen. I imagined the kind of discrimination and emotional trauma infringed on these people. I couldn’t take it through in me. I walked up to her, introduced myself and we became good friends till date

I have actually come to realize that life sometimes can be unfair, but certainly God is always good. There are times we make mistakes, there are times our youthful exhurberance come into play and we fall in the pit of error along the line. There are times our young girls wrongly assumes love for lust and get caught in the web of unwanted pregnancy. Some were raped, some were victims of circumstances which resulted in the unwanted pregnancy. Unfortunately, the guys who perpetuates the actions most times go scot free, some even denies the child’s paternity. Of course, Africa is a religious state as we preach so much against abortion. But why speak against abortion when you will never permit a young single mother another life opportunity? Why do we say abortion should be abolished when our system never genuinely give room for a second chance?

Our socuety must rise to the occasion. Our mentality, orientation and subconscious mindset towards this voiceless voices must be changed. We must accept them back into our system and give them opportunity to start all over again. But come to think of it, how can you claim to be a Christian and yet send your child away from the house because she’s pregnant outside marriage? Is that the teaching of Jesus to an erring Child? What exactly is the use of religious bodies if not for rehabilitation? I thought Jesus always permitted the sick, diseased and sinners free access to himself? Today, our Churches and Mosques sees such victims as sinners who should never be mingled with. No one should be termed useless, our religious houses should be an example of a proper rehabilitation home and not the exact opposite. We should create a conducive environment for these people, we could help them train the child, encourage the young mama to go back to school, or perhaps learn a trade or handwork. Of course, some of these girls aren’t lucky to have parent who are financially buoyant, but our religious bodies can swing into action and give life back to these ones.

To you Young single mother, even if the victimize you, even if family rejects you, even if friends mock you, even if fellow worshippers abandon you, cheers up and pack up the pieces of your life. Never dwell too long in the pit of regret. For every darkness experienced in the tunnel of life, a shinning light awaits you at the tunnel end. Don’t give up on your pursuit. Go back to school, be ready to live with the scar for ever. Don’t think of prostitution, it is never the solution, it disgusts and relegate your personality the more. Never think you can’t be the best again. You might have lost time and years but don’t throw off your dreams. You can still make it despite all odds. You might eventually become the best wife a man can hope for and the most wonderful mother a child can wish he had.

Don’t give up, having a child before marriage while very young is not a disease, it is a mistake and can be corrected.


About the Author
Afonrinwo Babs Deji is a Social Innovator, a Writer, an Encourager and a Public Speaker. He’s the Founder, The Inverters Foundation a team made of young amazing guys who are Human Capacity Development Builders. Our team focuses on creating excellent leaders and successful entrepreneurs within the Urban and rural areas.  We are based in Lagos, Nigeria

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